


Proper Intake

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Junkrat being shamelessly perverted, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 08:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9313796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: Mei is concerned about Junkrat's eating habits. Perhaps a bit too much.





	

"Jamison Fawkes!"

A strangled yelp of surprise escaped Junkrat's mouth as he whirled around to face one very irate Mei-Ling Zhou. At least, he thought she was irate. Hands on her hips, puffed cheeks, narrowed eyes, crinkle in her nose, cute pout. Yeah, she was irate. Or horny. The two faces were eerily similar.

"Oh, s'just you." sighed the bomber, returning to his sandwich. "Gave me a fright, there, sheila."

"What in heaven's name is that you are eating?" asked Mei, not moving an inch from the doorway of their shared room. 

"Just a lil snack. Some fried eggs, bit a ham, some bacon, maple syrup, anchovies, chips, dollop'o vegemite--"

Mei's face tinged green as the Australian rattled off ingredients. "Junkrat, have you never heard of a thing called proper nutritional value?"

Pausing, Junkrat shook his head and took another bite. "Not really. Didn't pay much attention in health class."

"It's important to have well-balanced meals, Junkrat! You need meat, fruit, vegetables, actual food! This is why you're so thin and sickly looking."

At that, the Junker frowned. "Oi, attack me eatin' habits all you want, but don't go after my physique." He grinned wolfishly as he flexed, looking less like skin and bone and more like...skin and somewhat noticeable muscle tone. "This here's the result of good ol' fashion Australian appetite. My body's a right temple."

Mei sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "If your body is a temple, then the gods must be crazy. And this isn't even the oddest thing I've seen you eat this week. What about that can of sardines?"

"Nothing wrong with sardines, love."

"When you douse them in Nutella, it is!"

Junkrat grinned. "Sure you're not just jealous I was eating something else fishy and sweet?"

It took a moment, but when it clicked, Mei's jaw nearly hit the floor and her face blossomed scarlet. "Oh, you're disgusting! Disgusting and wretched and a beast!"

"Now, those words imply 'insult', but all I'm hearing are compliments." laughed the bomber. "Anyway, what's it matter to you what I eat? No skin of your bones."

"It matters because you're important to me, you...you...candle!"

The Australian paused mid-bite, giving Mei an odd look. "That's a new one."

"Shush!" Mei stomped over to Junkrat, pulling him away from his precious sandwich. "You're coming with me right this second!"

"Where the bloody hell to!?" But she was silent, silent and determined. "At least lemme finish it!"

-/-/-/-/-

Winston had been a bit apprehensive letting Mei and Junkrat off-site for an 'undisclosed mission', but had relented--quite speedily--when Mei let slip it would take a few hours. Which meant a few hours not wondering when the next explosives test was going to occur. He could finally get some work done. Maybe even finish a puzzle. "Be safe." he'd warned, and Mei's assurance they would be was all he needed.

A set of coordinates, a short flight later, and they were at Lijang Tower, Mei's element. The second they touched down, she was off like a bullet, dragging Junkrat with her. He didn't know the climatologist could move so fast.

They must've visited half a dozen stores. Shops reeking of fish and strange vegetables that had Junkrat scowling the whole time, Mei getting into the occasional shouting match with a shopkeeper over the prices of food, her plowing through the crowded streets like a fluffy bulldozer. Whatever she had planned, she would not be stopped. She was a woman on a mission, and Junkrat could honestly not have been more turned on. Or curious.

They headed back to the airship, arms filled with bags of strange food items that Junkrat couldn't begin to pronounce. And no matter how many times he asked, Mei would not tell him why. 

After making it back to the watchpoint, Mei sequestered herself in the kitchen, and for two hours she worked, letting no one in. Strange smells emanated from within, and Junkrat tried everything he could to figure out what the climatologist was up to. He tried peeking through the door and narrowly dodged an icicle, Mei shouting 'No peeking!'. And so he sulked against the door.

When she finally came out, dressed in an apron and hair kept in place by a blue and white shawl, she beckoned him inside, the junker quickly entering before she changed her mind.

A veritable buffet lay upon the table. He recognized the bowls of rice and the dumplings Mei would always snack on when she got the chance, and the calming scent of green tea mixed with the exotic medley of food. But for everything familiar he saw, there were several others he didn't; strange, transparent rolls, what looked like chicken feet, red cuts of meat and bone, and dozens others that he didn't recognize.

"All that hullabaloo for some dinner?" scoffed Junkrat. "Now, I like a girl who eats, but--"

"You shush," chided Mei, putting a finger to Junkrat's lips. She pulled out a chair and practically shoved him into it. "Sit," She pushed him to the table and handed him a pair of chopsticks. "And eat."

The bomber eyed the spread, not sure where to start. "What do I go for first?" 

"Anything you like."

He decided to go with the chicken feet. Seconds later, he was glad he did. An explosion of flavor! Bitter, salty, sweet, but so moist and tender. He scarfed down the entire plate, punctuating it with mouthfuls of rice and the vinegar sauce on the side. "I'll be dipped in gravy!" howled Junkrat as he downed a cup of tea. "What was that!?"

"Phoenix claws." smiled Mei proudly. "So you liked it?"

"Did I ever! What else you got here, Snowball?"

Mei began pointing out the various dishes. "Over there's spare ribs and steamed meatballs, then some steamed pork buns, some dumpling soup, some shaomai, some fried squid..." 

Her words were lost on Junkrat, whose hands were a blur as he shoveled food into his mouth. Ordinarily Mei would've chastised his awful table manners, but watching him devour the food of her homeland filled her with so much happiness, she let it slide. This time.

A short while later, every dish and bowl was bare, and the teapot empty. Junkrat slumped against his chair, patted his bloated stomach. "Dang, Snowball. You're like that witch."

"Excuse me?" balked Mei.

"Yeah, y'know..those two lil' brats start eating her house, so she tries to eat them, but she fattens 'em up first."

"...Oh..."

"Why'd you do this for me, anyway?"

"...You're always eating so unhealthily. That...'sandwich' was the last straw. I wanted you for once to have a meal that was actually good for you."

With effort, Junkrat propped himself up. "So how come you didn't give me a head a cabbage and call it a day?"

Mei rolled her eyes as she spoke. "I also saw it as an opportunity to share some of my culture with you." The climatologist looked down, and her voice grew weaker. "When...I was younger...my mother would always make amazing meals like this. I'd get so full and happy. One of the things I miss most about her is her cooking." A deep sigh emanated from the Chinese woman, and she wrung her hands as painful memories flooded her brain.

"...Thanks."

Head snapping up, she faced Junkrat. "What?"

"Ya didn't have to do...well, any of this." Junkrat said, gesturing to the empty dishes. "But ya did. And I'm real happy for it. So...thanks, Mei. And, uh...it was great. Really superb."

Smiling ear to ear, Mei bounced over to Junkrat and gave him a light peck on the cheek. "You're very welcome."

"So what's for dessert?"

The brunette's face fell. All the stores they visited, all the haggling she did, and of all the many sweet shops they passed, and dessert hadn't occurred to her once. "U-Um...I...guess I forgot it?"

"Watcha talking about?" smirked Junkrat as he got to his feet and sauntered over to the now-blushing Mei. She recognized that look. "There's something sweet right over here."


End file.
